Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Hippie thoughts:The push to make you move

I have been struggling to be vegetarian for awhile now.  I have always tried to eat a flexitarian diet based on plants more than meat, however I would always trip up over stress.  Stress of the holidays, break ups or working late hours.  But when I became pregnant my body and budding baby rejected all meat and dairy.  I was forced into veganism, minus my love of eggs and honey. 
This was the begining of a new way of life for me.
It has been an off and on struggle since 2010.
In 2013, I worked in a grocery store that has the best selection of organic and only selection of most natural foods in town.  I became friends with a Vegan guy and my interest in veganism and vegetarianism as a way of life began to take hold.  Then I found out my best friend has been Vegetarian for several years and she does not even cook!  Just more support to help make this change permanent.

Everyone has their own way to convert their lifestyle to suit heir needs.  Some do it fast and cut out everything cold turkey and some do it in small amounts. 

My first attempt, I tried the cold turkey method.  Ironically, it did not work.  I suffered from common pit falls such as lack of calories and that lead to a back slide.  I regained my composure, brushed myself off and took my time as I figured out another way to become what I wanted to be...at least vegetarian.
My second attempt that I am on right now, is taking things much slower.  I am looking at eating meat as an addiction.  So like a heroin addict that uses methadone to wean themselves off of the drug I am using meat analogs to transition.  I am not a whole food vegan yet, but I am on my way to my goal.

People are often curious about why a person would want to become vegan or vegetarian and the reasons are personal to everyone.  There is no right answer. Just wanting to be should be a good enough reason but when people question you they seem to get annoyed when you say "just because I want to" especially at dinner with the family or inlaws. 
I find it best to have a reason like animal rights, which I do agree with.  I call them my hippie thoughts.  I do sit and think about how in essence we are eating a dead carcass and it bothers me.  How can I have pets and love animals but kill them for my dinner?
It creates a sense of anxiety inside of me.  A dissonance that I need purged.  I find that not partaking in the holocaust of animals helps.  This anxiety is very apparent to me when I am feeling sensitive, particularly after I meditate and as I walk near the meat section in a store I feel tension and revulsion.
I do not feel this way as I walk through the produce section.
I salivate as I walk near watermelons, bananas, apples, lettuces, and kale.  Even the dirt smell of potatoes gets into my stomach.
I do not feel that way when I walk past the meat areas.  I see the flesh, chopped up, sometimes sitting in its own juices and I feel sick and anxious.
Maybe I am developing a weak constitution as I get older, but I can still watch horror movies where people get chopped up with no qualms.
My personal integrity is telling me that I do not want meat.

What is the push that made you move?
 What do you feel as you walk around a grocery store?
Are you interested in cooking?
How can I make this work for me?

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